Reflection from one year ago:

I spoke briefly today with a church community acquaintance whose husband had recently died.  They had been married for 60 years and both are pillars of the community. They were also the Grand Marshalls for the Labor Day parade. Their name and their contributions, to many in their hometown, have been prominent for decades.

While offering my condolences and hugs, I offered help and assistance.  Then quickly realizing she probably has an outpouring of support, I said “I’m sure you probably have a load of support!” She replied with a sobering tone to my ears “yes, right NOW!”  I didn’t know what to say – because I understood what she meant. I saw her point and she was absolutely right.  Her children will go back to living their lives, friends will check in often, then infrequently, acquaintances will politely smile and sincerely say “hello, how are you?”while tending to their own families. Conversations will evolve from “I’m so sorry” to “How are you doing?” and “What’s new?”.

We are sincere but, after a few weeks, that initial wave of well-meaning support does diminish and life continues, especially for those not intimately affected by the death.  We must remember that each of us are also those “pillars” in the community of faithful. When one has lost their foothold, we must offer ourselves as columns.

Lord Have Mercy,

Paula