Last night we had ESOL student registration night.  As new students came pouring in, I was part of team to test their knowledge in English skills.  I had never been a part of this process so I asked “how-to” questions. I even asked to role play beforehand so I was sure to cover all that was necessary to score each student accurately.  I have never been one to dive into an unknown of anything.  I watch others, assess the situation, then decide if it’s something that I can do, could do, should do or want to do.  Sometimes after I observe, I can see where I could tailor it to my own personality or tweak it where it’s more efficient.  I like my process, it hasn’t failed me. It works.  I guess I qualify myself.  

However, going back to school to study Theology came out of the blue.  Why is this on my heart? Aren’t there others more qualified than me to journey this road? What would I learn? Should I learn it? What if I only learn doubt? What if I lose my faith? I was actually a bit nervous on that last question because even my advisor mentioned that it’s possible to start questioning everything you ever knew about faith. So very trepidatiously each course came and went, my knowledge increased, my heart widened, my faith deepened.  I did question God, history, the Bible, Scripture, motives, outcomes, ancient patristic writing, artwork, so on and so forth.  I questioned everything not because I was losing faith but because I was hungry to capture and gather all that was feeding my faith.  I learned my faith was on solid ground, but it was time to make it grow, bloom and feed others.  This time, God qualified me.